The Dallas Woman's Guide to Gold-Digging With Pride

"I'm fed up with the ramen-eating artist who can't work a real job because he must think about creating.  I'm sick of the relationship-phobic professional who is great for the first month, then turns aloof and weird.  He get angry at you because you assume he's your steady Friday-night date and rebels against cuddling.  I'm disgusted with the emotional vampire, the guy who leeches on to your own reserves and demands that you validate his whole existence.  Yes, you are a great writer/lawyer/politician, and great in bed and very, very funny.  This kind of man is never generous in return, neither emotionally nor materially.  I should add that in all these involvements there is some incident of cheating [....] I'm exhausted from the relationships I've endured, so I've decided to try it Aimee's way."

I'm beginning to see why this is my cousin's favorite book.