Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Detailed Description of a First Date

I was quite surprised when I received Mr. Boston's call two Saturday's ago. We had been in contact back in September before I traveled to Pittsburgh for Miss Sanders wedding shower, but for whatever reason, we just couldn't set a date. Combine this with the fact that I am a firm believer in what I call the one-week-rule. This is similar to the "Friend Zone" in Scrubs. Basically, from the time you meet someone new to the first date there is a maximum of 7 days to make this happen. After that week grace period has passed, your face will be distorted in all your pictures and you will die a plethora of different issues are confronted. Such as:
  • You're comfort zone becomes a texting/voice mail relationship
  • You develop a texting relationship placing more pressure to connect during a first date
  • When said first date does occur after so much time has elapsed and the chemistry you thought would be present is absent, well that just makes everything more awkward when you have both been waiting so long
  • The potential of meeting someone else and loosing interest in candidate #1

However, when Mr. Boston called, enough time had gone by that the one-week-rule had reset. We made plans for that evening and 8:15 p.m. found me at one of my favorite restaurants.

I arrived first and sent him a text letting him know it was about a 30-minute wait and I had put our names on the list. He called a moment later telling me he had arrived and asking me where I was. I walked outside to greet him and we went in to sit at the bar while we waited for our table.

Before I say anything else, let me say that I looked hot. Like, smoking hot. And Mr. Boston isn't so bad himself. This means that I'm the closest I've been to the "Matching Phenomenon" since I was with The Marine (you'll have to scroll down a bit to find the right entry. I just lost myself reading my old xanga site. Perhaps you will too?).

I have to say, the date went well and there was never an awkward lull in conversation. However, he did swear a lot and that was a huge turn off for me. I also got the sense that he's a drinker which is another no-no in my book, but, eh, not a deal-breaker at this point in time. All-in-all, though, the overall shining quality about this date was my own mental and emotional break-through that I experienced. Throughout the whole night I was nothing but blatantly honest with him about my faith, who I am, and what I want. And wouldn't you know it, Mr. Boston absolutely loved how confident and passionate I am.

At the end of the night, we were standing out in the parking lot and the conversation went a little something like this:

Mr. Boston: Well, clearly, obviously we're going to get together again
Me (teasing): Hmm, is that clearly obvious to me?
MB (laughing): No, you're totally right, it's your call. But, I had a wonderful time tonight and would love to see you again.
Me: I had a great time tonight too. But, I'm going to be brutally honest with you. I don't play hard-to-get but I am hard-to-get. I know I'm a catch and if you want anything with me you're going to have to work really hard. If that intimidates you than that's a good thing. I don't mean to sound egotistical, but I'm an incredibly worthy person and I say that mostly because I haven't always seen myself that way. I know exactly what I want. I know exactly what I want. That's probably why I'm still single, but I don't mind waiting for something good.
MB: Wow. *pause* Wow, I have never had a girl be that honest with me and that is so incredibly sexy. I love that you know what you want out of life and I am totally ok with that.

Wow! Who woulda thunk that all those MSN articles I've read about guys loving confidant girls were right? The funny thing is, I wasn't even being confidant to impress him, I was being confidant for myself. For too long, the only criteria a guy needed to have to be with me was that he liked me. I'm not sure why I always had such low self-esteem when it came to relationships, I had all the pieces. I guess I just didn't know how to put them together. I didn't have the experience of learning to be comfortable in my own skin.

We didn't get together this past weekend because he didn't make it down to the Cape. He'll be down this weekend for his birthday, but I'm not sure how that's going to work since my weekends already pretty booked. Hopefully we can figure something out or else we fall back into the one-week-rule.

Oh well, as I told him after our date, even if we come out with a great friendship, I'm all set. And yes, I know guys hate being put into the "Friend Zone." Don't worry, Mr. Boston, you're not there....yet.

1 comment:

Life as I know it said...

Nice, very nice! So it could be true then - that being confident and sure of yourself IS sexy after all. Who'd have thought?!

I'm really glad that if, for no other reason, the date showed you are sure of yourself, you know what you want and life is too short to settle for crap.