I'm listening to Snow Patrol right now. I'm going to pretend like I haven't neglected this blog for two months.
This has been hell week at the theater. The week before production is always hell week. My life is work, theater. Theater, work. I wouldn't change it.
I've been reflective lately on my time at the little theater on a hill, thinking about my debut on its stage this time two years ago as Hodel in Fiddler on the Roof. I'm not so much nostalgic about the show, however great of a show it was, but more on the place in which I found myself at the time. Living on my own for the first time ever. Breaking up with Ben...the worst heart-ache of my life. Not knowing who I was anymore. All my insecurities and financial stress. Trying too hard and looking too far and craving too much.
I was talking to the roommate last night about how, despite all the good times I've had up to this point in my life, I wouldn't go back. I'm enjoying this contentment too much to want anything else. Even if I can't stay up as late as I used to or if I don't find enjoyment in drunken revelries like a "normal" 25-year-old, I like this place better; this place of peace. This place of being comfortable in my own skin.
We open the Sound of Music on Thursday and a week from then will be the two-year aniversary of breaking up with Ben, of starting this wonderful journey of rediscovering myself and God and life with all its joys and sorrows.
I'm listening to Snow Patrol right now. And I feel nothing but the enjoyment of a good album.
1 comment:
Thank you for mentioning you haven't been here for two months. :)
I totally relate to what you're saying about finding yourself in God. Maybe we need to have another conversation soon and catch up on this! Recently, I've realized how much I focus on being alone, being single, crying about it, wanting this time in my life to be over - but slowly, over the past couple of days, I decided I want to be done with that and focus on the joys of my life and the blessings, contentment I have.
Anyway, you're awesome!
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