Ruminations

The second week of Sound of Music opened well. We had a great audience last night. For anyone who has ever been involved in live theater, you know how important it is to have a good audience: one who is quiet when they're supposed to be quiet, applaud/laugh/gasp in all the right places, and most importantly give back a lot of energy.

This show has been a little surrealistic for me. Yesterday I had to keep reminding myself that we had a show that night. I guess it's always hard coming off of two weeks of rehearsals every night, moving right into opening the show, and then all-of-a-sudden having 3 days off. But, I didn't forget any of my lines or lyrics, so that mini panic attack I had yesterday was completely unfounded.

There's been a lot of stuff going around my mind besides the musical, but for some reason that always seems to dominate. I went to Brewster Green on Wednesday night and sat in the sauna for awhile as I collected my thoughts about some things...mostly work...and since work dominates most of my time that basically means life.

I was offered a freelance correspondent position with the newspaper at which I interned five years ago. As excited as I am about the possibility of seeing my name in print again, I'm also a nervous wreck. What if I forget everything about how to write a solid lead and nut graph? What if all literary prowess deserts me? What if I can't fit it into my schedule? What if I end up running myself ragged and failing at everything?

I think a lot of my anxiety is coming from the fact that I really don't know what this potential job entails. This newspaper is only weekly, but does that mean I'll be writing every week? How many stories a week? Maybe just a couple stories a month? These are all questions that are going unanswered as I wait to hear back from the managing editor. I mean, this could solve the problem of whether or not I work part-time at the resort again this summer, but man, even if I only write one story a week my schedule's going to be pretty packed with a 40-hour job plus the radio all day Saturday.

And I was thinking of auditioning for Godspell this summer? Why do I never learn how to not overbook myself? If I was an airline company, I would be giving away free trip vouchers left and right.

I guess only time will answer all these questions and solve all these problems. And sitting around waiting for that to happen is so enjoyable for an impatient person.