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Thursday, March 27, 2008

It Is Finished

It is finished.

Perhaps some of the greatest three words in history. I'm sure if "I love you" wasn't thrown around at random, those "three little words" might be able to compare to the above. They don't.

It is finished sums up the entirety of life. And I don't just mean in the context of the Cross ('though what greater context is there?). I mean, in the context of every day, those three words finalize, complete, bring closure.

Maybe it's just because I'm slightly obsessive compulsive, the notorious list maker, who glories in seeing my tasks accomplished and saying, "It is finished!" Maybe it's because sometimes, occasionally, frequently, I measure my worth by how much I'm able to do in a 24 hour period. Granted, I'm not half as cumpulsive as when I was in college, riding the rapids of trying to grow into a mature adult. Now that I am said mature adult, I still have my moments of beating myself up for procrastinating, but for the most part, I know that the mind needs these moments too to absorb and refresh.

My Samaritan's Purse application: It. Is. Finished. It is finished and stamped and mailed off as of Tuesday, March 25, 2008. This should have been done three weeks ago. No matter, it is finished now. I'm not sure whether to celebrate or bury my head in a pillow and wait in quiet agony until my response comes back next month. I'm leaning towards the latter. Here is yet another area in which I doubt myself. Which is really quite a ridiculous notion. I know that there is nothing good in me apart from Christ, so why should I worry knowing that He has everything under control? Should I really be concerned one way or another? Whatever happens is apart of something so much bigger than I.

For the moment, I'm trying not to over-analyze the possibilities too much. There are plenty of things I want to do that could be "back up plans." But, I don't really want to go down the road of planning my life so tightly that God has no room to move. Been there. Done that.
If I am accepted, praise God. If I am not accepted, praise God.

Now that I know God's call on my life is to full time missions, I'm much less concerned about what I have to do and much more concerned with what God needs to do. So, in that same breath I can also say unhypcritically that I am trusting Him completely to supply the $1200 I need to pay my taxes.

Yes, my taxes are finished as well. And apart from that $1200 I owe the Federal Government, everything is filed and organized as it should be. All I can do now is sit back and say, "Lord move in a way that I've never seen before/'cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door/I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore/So Lord move/Move me."

And that goes for all of the above.

1 comment:

natalie said...

I am so proud of you that everything got dome and now you are moving on to that next step in the process. Having clarity is pretty amazing and I am glad you feel confident in the call God has placed on your heart.

I love you a lot and I know that God is preparing you for something great... besides being an amazing friend to me that is!

Love you.