New Year's Ruminations

I've thought a lot about New Year's Resolutions over the past couple of weeks. I've thought about how I don't really believe in them anymore...how it seems kind of trite to spout out all these high ideals that no one ever really follow through on past January.

And then I thought of this past year. And how hard it was. And how I coined it "The Year of Christina" because of all the self-care and self-love I wanted to give myself, because of all the ways I wanted to get healthy: physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. In some of those areas (physically), I failed terribly; in others, I attained momentary star power. But, in general, I have grown and branched out and become more "zen."

So, for this year, The Year of Rest, my resolution is to continue on this journey - the journey of learning how to take care of me, while still taking care of the people in my life that I love; breathing deep to remind myself of the sweetness of oxygen; taking moments, both small and large, to enjoy the pleasures of life, both simple and decadent; reminding myself to get out of my head and into my life; continuing to hone my craft and be excellent in my work; finding balance; remembering that the traumas of my past do not define me, but strengthen me; embracing creativity, innovation, excitement, and not being afraid of the failures that come along away that make the end product even better; investing my time in pursuits that are edifying; being gentle with myself; being gentle with those around me; abstaining from detrimental habits and activities.

But, most importantly, I want this year to be filled with love. I want to open my heart up, inch by inch, until its doors are wide open – allowing in the joy and the pain, and embracing them both. I want to continually eschew cynicism and bitterness. I want to press forward towards hope and joy and peace. I want to recapture the starry-eyed, idealistic dreamer I was before I encountered the dark side of humanity and allowed it to thwart my vision. Then I want to temper that idealism with discernment and grace.

As each page falls off the calendar, bringing us inevitably closer to the end of our days, I am more aware of what it means to live a good life. For truly, a life full of grace, truth, joy, and love will always be admired and celebrated.

Welcome 2015. May I live each of your days to the hilt!